Once.. My heart broke.. I know beats went missing in those moments.. Blood poured.. Dream of blood tears..

A deeply etched scar formed.. And has never healed ever since..

I was threading on a fine line between denial and devastation.. Trying to maintain the balance of sanity.. Life went on as I portray my best pretence..

Till it crumbles again..

How am I to go on?

Been a while.. Been away from my "private" space for too long..

Hi there p1faithless.. How have you been? Has your world become a little better? Are u free from ur demons?

I hope the time away was a good indication of stability, clarity and peace.. =) Hope u found smiles..

It is funny how the same mass has a different weight on two different worlds.. Just like how similar incidents can bear different effects at different times..

Are we a little more grown up?
Are we used to these emotional chords, that they bear less significant pressure on our lives?
Are we numb?

My negativity is my explicity..

Brighten the thoughts with words like..
"we are stronger"
"we are better"
"we are more experienced and have learnt how to overcome".. Simply adds a step ahead so we seem like we are getting nearer to the perfection we desire..

But we are not immune.. We are not dead..

We are designed to flaw..

The world will never stop spinning on its axis.. Oscillating the hopes of the world.. Day by day.. We pray for miracles.. But have u realize the world is round.. What comes around, goes around may be cliche.. But it states exactly what we are..

World with no end..

i find it tough to answer your question..

in a faithless world.. u can ignore the truth.. u can also deny your emotions.. u can hide.. u can pretend.. u don't have to bear your heart to anyone.. u will not cry when u feel like crying.. u will smile even if your heart bleeds.. u will feel little pain.. u will sleep well..

because, in the end, u don't have to believe in anything..

i only want what is good.. not for me.. but for u..

imma wreck.. rotten to the core.. waiting for my end..

while i have my breathing days.. i will try to make it work for u..

do u remember?

have u ever had that feeling of uncertainty..

i know wad itz like.. the uneasiness is making me feel like itz happening too often..

why does it always have to be like that?


i need air..

i need to clear my mind..


u make me smile.. u make me jump..

then u push me over.. and let me fall..


the darkness lurks..

i despise tis feeling.. and i keep hoping it wasn't u.. and that u can be the one i trust..


iam starting to fear the truth.. afraid to find out..

afraid that the light will shed the end of us..


the tiny voice that calms me down is drowning in the sea of paranoia..

not good..


help me.