guess imma wun have much of a chance to blog at hm.. why? coz i installed DotA on my lappie last night.. tot i cld start gaming for a while b4 i go to slp last night.. who knows man.. the downloading, installing and updating took so long.. i ended winding up when the installation was completed.. and from the advices i got from bro.. itz not ready yet.. sigh.. how much more exactly? haha.. he kept telling me to download garena.. wad is that? iam realli lazy to read up on all-about-dota.. i'll juz ask nic or bug my bro if i i have to.. hee..

oh yesh.. itz mon and iam at work.. and i have not done any xmas shoppin!! freaking last min liao.. better go tonight.. get sth for baby.. can't get anything posh since peggee's down to her last pennies.. beeg recession ahead for peggee!! cutting back on alot of shoppin ever since the hols started.. sigh.. juz one more semester to real time employment.. iam not even tinking of grad trip.. how to? with my loan repayments and daily expenses.. ive decided not to give my parents any allowances for my 1st 2 yrs.. unless required.. iam not stingy.. but i dun wanna be strapped in a situation like tis no more.. being caught in a position whereby i can't advanced nor retreat.. and worry alot abt the next day.. sian.. NO MORE!

wad am i yakking bout now.. hahaha.. oh dear.. me and my blabbles.. 

share xmas with the ones u love..

kudos again.. 2nd post of the day..

part of me tells me that i shld realli start on fyp readings..

another part of me juz wanna partey!

yeah! we gals gonna be partying tmr! hope and pray that there wun be any hiccups.. 

and for the rest of u who wanna share my life with me.. read all abt yirong's wedding.. that i attended over last wkend.. 

here you can view the wedding montage..

Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com

i keep telling yirong she's the prettiest bride ever.. but she dunch believe me.. sigh.. but i do hope her husband feels like he's the luckiest man on earth.. haha..

and for some reason.. time is crawling past.. tick tock tick.. even my heartbeat has slowed down to match the tick of the seconds.. sigh..

the blues.. can't kick it.. not even aft a good lunch.. 

i dun wanna work here too often i realized.. it eats away the life in me.. i become dull and restless... even the nonsensical jokes on miss no good is doing no good these days..

luckily.. the imac is working great.. i can at least access many web-based entertainment networks..

but i gotta do my job too..

so i vacuumed ytd.. and housekeep today.. may clean the counter tops later if required.. 

iam not keen coz it seems like iam the only one doing the cleaning ard here.. or shld i say i shld not be greedy to rob my colleague of his share.. hahaha..

tmr morning.. needa go to lavender.. anyone wanna come with me?

lack of updates, lack of pics too.. hee

well ive finally gotten itunes to sync with the ipod.. packed it with some of my favs.. and the journey to work now is no longer lonely, no more.. haha.. 

so i turned up the volume to the album for Step Up 2 OST.. haha.. 1st song if anyone can remb is Shake Your Pom Pom by Missy Elliot.. haha.. and a crazy idea struck me.. 

i pictured me in a hip hop battle.. my opponent? nic's crazy ex-gf.. WAHAHA.. i did mention it was a crazy thot right? 

well so the battle starts once the song was in tuned.. and guess who wows the crowd..

*ahem* humble being ME!

i totally have a head-swelling when it comes to this kinda shit.. haha

yea yea.. fantasies..

anw.. then i was early for work today.. but decided not to eat again.. it seems like my hunger pangs which started from hm stopped the moment i stepped into the shop.. i hope itz blessing in disguise.. save money and cut down on my fat build-up..

altho.. i dun realli have to worry bout that.. iam still actively working and doing much.. not potato-couching during my hols.. i juz can't.. plus.. ive been crapping too often.. i mean the toilet kinda crap.. haha.. and it happens esp aft a day of good food.. like i was with dav last night and we had a simple affair at food republic.. my yummy beef noodles.. *slurps*.. but today.. the food became a bunch of crap.. hahaha.. yesh iam grossly gross.. hee

oh well and now.. the emptiness and the tranquility at work provides me a good chance to reflect..

tis is so random.. but strikes me kinda hard.. in my heart.

all we tink abt sometimes is the past..

like a shadow cast upon us..

we look back too often to find ourselves being haunted..

by the reasons that got us to where we are now..

when we try to reach and search for the ans in our past..

itz almost like digging into our own crap..

for sth forgotten..

for sth left way back in time..

we will nv get rid of our shadow.. 

as much as we wish it will disappear so we can live life without a trace..

but perhaps we realli shld not mind..

that our shadow is taking the burden for us..

we may move on and lead our lives..

and let the shadow swallow our sorrows and take on the darkness..

tis is why the shadow will nv realli leave our side..

tis is why we head towards the light.. 

so that we leave our shadows behind..

another one of those post u wun find a clue to wad the hell iam yakking abt.. i juz wanna vent it out.. juz wanna be able to find myself..

the cheek and tongue dunch work.. imma need to adapt to sth that iam not used to.. itz hard frankly.. but imma gonna try.. even tho i get no promises that it'll work.. i like the way i am for the way i have always been.. but since iam not quite fitting in.. and iam not loved for that.. imma try to morph.. like a butterfly.. sth beautiful may turn out at the end of the day.. if i cld juz wiggle outta the bonds of the cocoon.. and spread my wings.. i can.. i must start now.. coz i noe itz not sth i can do in a short while.. the ability to develop the strength to be able to fly takes more than juz mere brute force.. but more skill to maneuver.. yea i gotta learn how.. 

and i need the support i can get..

like i always say.. even if the outcome is not wad i hoped for.. at least i tried.. =)

i dunch dare make him say he loves me.. and i dunno if he wld.. but i noe in my heart where i wanna be.. and i wanna be with him.. gosh.. i noe.. ive fallen deep into it tis time.. pls keep my heart safe..

on a lighter note.. yesh i need a holiday.. i need to get some air.. need to let loose.. and at the same time.. do the blardie research for fyp.. damn.. now my workload had multiplied somehow and i honestly have no idea how to get started.. 

well.. for appetizers.. letz juz start by READING..

kae kae.. wadeva.. haha.. so not in the mood..

sorry.. get the prospects of "lighter" juz got heavier..

growl*

fark

can i not be so susceptible to tis freaking infection for once? argh.. angry..
juz bcoz i din bother to lock up the shop to go pee aft drinking a tall cuppa ice milk tea and pomegranate juice while at work?!
sian la..

and i tink my condition is more likely cystitis..

under control now.. at least the pain has subsided.. coz i had leftover antibiotics.. which means i din finish the previous courses.. oppz..
and i hate these pills.. give me the toilet runs..
okie.. need the doc tmr..
need my eczema NSAIDs too.. the rashes are flaring like shit now..

haha.. gg to spend one consultation fee for both conditions..

no money liao la..

*sigh*

steering the wheel.. imma taking over now.. my life i lead to the fill.. perhaps some day u will join me in the thrill..

when patience burns out.. and i dun wan ruins to be made.. i step aside and distract myself.. time ticks on and we shall see wadz in it for us in the finale..

oh yes iam bored.. again! haha..

kinda youtube for a bit to see if nickelback has their mvs up for their new album "Dark Horse".. but no luck.. guess they're still touring..

and oh tis does not feel like holiday as much.. except for the times i get to hang ard nic all over the place bcoz my time is soooOo flexible.. hee.. but of coz in my mind i keep in thot of the part time jobs that i needa get myself.. and also fyp.. and maybe plans to reward myself.. 

supposed to be on batam cable skiing trip.. but now there's an issue with regards to period of travel.. sigh. i was looking forward to it man.. tink nic is pretty upset that he's not gg to make it for the sport.. hmm.. mayb we can juz go to cable 360 to try-out.. or spend 125 an hour to get kenny to coach us..

btw folks.. if ure tinking of trying wakeboarding.. do go over to substance watersports @ punggol marina country club.. or let me noe.. hee.. iam tinking of trying la.. if any babes are interested, holler me on it.. hee

oh well.. that is not sth i can do now anw.. kinda strapped now.. better spend less.. there's still xmas and new yr to plan for.. oh! and yirong's wedding dinner.. next sat! i nee a dress.. BADLY!! anyone with a nice dress to lend pls? or else i better start looking for that legendary lil black dress.. which is so gonna come in handy at such events.. 

my heels are gg to be sent for repair anw.. my dad did a pretty bad job trying to erm.. save them.. esp my birthday gift from the gals.. the black wedges.. not poshly expensive.. but helluva comfy and sentimental.. i juz sent it to be fixed at the cobbler.. hope a good job will be done..

so randomly i typed a chunk of words.. hahaha.. 

oh well i better be reading my notes or my book.. sandra brown in my bag today.. then there's another brown and anne rice at hm waiting.. oh yes.. give me my dose of fantasy.. hee.. 

for now.. i guess i have to lead a normal still life.. waiting for ma babes to be back.. to partey beeg time.. oh how i miss them so.. we shld have a mahjong session too.. teach me mahjong ladies.. hee.. 

wad the hell am i yakking abt.. hahahaha

chao

one month and 4 days..

and tonight we're finally gg to club tgt.. 

*winkx*

1st to partey with u.. 

the silence only amplifies the chaotic emotional turmoil..

feeling the sense of loneliness again..

but i shld be more or less used to it by now..

gg to have to find my source of life..

be independent at times..

coz i need to be..

for myself and i..

=)

scars.. i have plenty.. 

the fight last night gave me headache and swollen eyes tis morning.. and left me weak emotionally.. iam losing faith even more when i got to know that nothing is happening tmr..

peggee be strong.. find peace and joy.. even if u have to be alone..

i noe itz hard for him to have to pls me.. but i hope baby keeps trying.. i'll love him to do that.. to make me feel like iam being cherished.. 

i dunno wad to say..

i betta find sth to do tmr.. 

so that i can distract myself..

it is one month coming..

but baby doesn't remb..

i shall try not to be sad..

trying..

i rather not have that argument.. hurts us bad.. and the prob was not major to start off with.. but it escalated to a saga when hurtful remarks and sarcasms were hurled all over the place.. veri sucky..



forget it gal.. make it bygones.. if tis cannot last past a month.. then u realli suck at it..

but since tis is alr happening.. iam not having high hopes for the early hours of 3rd dec..